The Raven Records
by Jimmy the Gothic Egg
Summary: Confessions of a superpowered halfdemon. Chapter 6: Pain
1. Mondays

**Authoress Notes:**

Small bits of the lives of the Titans through Raven's POV. Comes from reading _Diaries of a Dungeon-Dwelling Moron_, _Lamentations of a Starry Eyed Twit_, _The Saga of Sam_, and _The Doctrine of Danny_. Not to mention _The Diaries of Argus Filch_. I need to avoid diary fics for a bit. Except now I'm reading the _Diaries _and _Lamentations_ in Herman's POV.

I need a life.

The Raven Records

_The recollections of a half-demon superhero._

**Mondays**

It's Monday.

I truly detest Mondays.

I imagine I'd hate them more if I had to go to school, but Mondays are naturally a horrible day.

Beast Boy's staring at me.

I twitch.

Where was I?

Mondays.

I think everyone hates Mondays.

Except for Starfire, but she's off in her own world. I've got no idea if she knows if it's Monday, blaragia, or a thousand different other Tamaranian holidays it could be.

(Beast Boy's still staring.)

(He's got this cute little stare.)

(Oh gods.)

(I did not just write that.)

Back to the point!

Mondays are horrible. Whomever invented it deserves a quick kick in the ass.

(Now I can't concentrate.)

(Thanks a lot Beast Boy.)

I hate Mondays.


	2. Boys

The Raven Records

_The recollections of a half-demon superhero_

**Boys**

I don't know why I bother.

Honestly it makes no sense.

(Why am I still thinking about it?)

Boys are idiots, I'll start with that.

And clueless.

Just look at Robin.

Starfire's practically flinging herself onto him, and he just continues with the same "teammates shouldn't date" crap. He's just in denial.

(Well, Starfire clings to _everyone_, so it's not really _that_ obvious, but I swear I've seen them _nearly_ kissing many a time.)

But back to the point.

Boys are idiots.

I guess I've _always_ known Beast Boy was an idiot.

He just proved it today.

(It explains all that staring.)

(I looked back on my last entry.)

(I still can't believe I wrote that.)

He was staring again.

Like he'd never really realized I was there.

So I told him to stop.

I merely said, "Please stop staring."

(Okay, maybe it was more threatening…)

And he freaks out.

I still don't know what I did.

He turned away quickly, dropping his plate, jumped back, and let out a random stream of words that I still can't decipher.

(Then again, I never understand anything he says.)

But I just ignored him and left the room, passing Starfire and Robin sharing an awkward moment.

Today is just dragging on.


	3. Awkward

The Raven Records

_The recollections of a half-demon superhero_

**Awkward**

I hate myself.

Well, no, not _myself_.

I guess, I just hate what I did today.

(I don't even want to talk about it.)

(No, seriously, I don't.)

…

…….

(Oh fine.)

(Damn journal.)

(Because I refuse to acknowledge that you're a diary.)

….

Anyway.

I still can't believe I did it.

Beast Boy had _finally_ stopped staring. But now he was avoiding my eyes.

(I still don't understand him.)

Oh gods, and he was just so goddamn annoying. I just wanted to…

(Not hurt him. He's too-

(No! I won't say it! Beast Boy is the last possible person I will ever _ever_ find attractive! He is not cute in any way or form and he is certainly the 'ladies' man' he constantly refers to himself as!)

Back to the matter at hand.

I could tell he _wanted_ to look at me. He was facing me, his head turned in my direction, but off a bit with his head bowed as if he was peeking at me through the corner of his eye.

(Which was just annoying.)

So I stood up…

…And slapped his head with my book.

Now looking back on it, it was probably not the smartest thing to do. I suppose I could've yelled at him again.

But instead I hit him.

Which was actually kind of awkward.

Because he just kind of stared at me.

I stared back.

(I wasn't even glaring.)

We were just staring, wide-eyed at each other, with this pregnant silence between us, and I swear you could bounce a ball off the tension in the air.

And we just kind of…

…Stared…

….

……

And _that_ was starting to creep me out, so I hit him again.

(Which just proves my insanity.)

(Oh gods it's _horrible!_)

And then he cracked a grin, and I swear I felt this funny… feeling in my stomach.

Then he opens his mouth, and I feel that funny buzz turn to something different… something like annoyance… or a dull hatred.

(No.)

(Not a dull hatred.)

(Because that's something _completely _different.)

He says, and I quote: "There are other ways to get rid of those repressed emotions."

Then he wiggled his eyebrows in that suggestive way.

I didn't even bother to slap him again.

Gods, why am I such an _idiot_?


	4. Sleep

The Raven Records

_The recollections of a half-demon superhero_

**Sleep**

Great gods I'm tired.

But I can't sleep.

It's insomnia. I swear I need some ambien or something. Except I heard that stuff makes you eat in your sleep. And drive. Honestly, there's something wrong with a sleeping pill when it _makes you drive in your sleep_.

I swear, villains are growing more daring with each passing day.

It's not even _super-_villains anymore. We went from a bank robbery to a diamond theft to some weird thing with an animal and…

Gods I'm so tired I can't even remember.

But Beast Boy was pissed, so it was probably something bad.

I'm making myself tea. There's a whole lot of coffee out; I think my friends are trying to convert me…

(To what I don't know.)

I curse.

There's no more tea.

I'm never going to sleep, am I Journal?

…

Oh gods…

Did I just refer to you as an actual person?

Dear powers that be, I'm losing it.

…

I'm going to sleep.


	5. Kiss

The Raven Records

_The recollections of a half-demon superhero_

**Kiss**

Oh gods save me from this horrible fate.

I don't know what happened.

I don't know what I was thinking!

Oh, dear Journal, please kill me.

I'm still flustered.

(Ugh, _flustered_. Not _flustered_… Though I've got no idea how to express this… emotion…)

(Oh dear gods and goddesses that send their wrath upon me…)

(Please don't tell me…)

Lords and ladies what did I do?

He was teasing me…

(His eyes light up and he's so _adorable…_)

(No! I- I- I'm _gushing!_)

So I leaned in to give my own snarky comment…

(Snarky? What does that even men? Why am I such an _idiot_?)

So I leaned in, and he leaned in too…

(I feel my cheeks burning! I know I'm positively red!)

And our lips…

…_TOUCHED!_

I kissed him! By the gods and goddesses, lords and ladies, I kissed that idiot and I enjoyed it!

(He's thinking about it.)

(I can _feel_ him thinking about it.)

(Lords, I need a shower.)

I'm going to hide in my room for a while.

….

……

Oh for God's sake I'm still thinking of it.

Please, inanimate object of no real origin, kill me.

Maybe I'll get ink poisoning.

…

I'm going to bed.


	6. Pain

The Raven Records

_The recollections of the half-demon superhero_

**Pain**

I'm in pain, friend Journal.

A house caved in on me today.

It hurts to write, but I think I will anyway.

I'm in pain.

I blame this new villain; Cheshire I think is her name.

Apparently she's pissed.

And she nearly killed me.

I don't know her motives, but when she crashes a house on you, it hurts like hell.

…

My arm hurts.

(Great, I'm whining to a journal.)

My arm broke, and the other one has this huge gash, and my head _was_ bleeding, but my own powers patched it up quickly.

…

And Beast Boy was annoying me.

I think he wants another kiss.

I'm not giving him one.

I mean it.

I'm not doing it.

(Oh gods. Is that first place my mind goes to?)

(I've been hanging out with too many boys.)

(But girl time with Starfire?)

(I'm shuddering.)

But I'm still not kissing him.

Nope.

No way.

Oh _get out of my head!_

I hate my emotions.

Why can't I be normal? Where my emotions aren't separated into their pure essence? It'd be nicer if they were all muddled together, attached in the essence of my soul.

Gods…

I'm getting poetic.

…

I'm going back to sleep.

I mean it this time.

My bout of insomnia is over.

I enjoy sleeping.

Except last night.

(Get your mind out of the gutter.)

(I'm going to sleep.)

….

….

This pain keeps me from going to sleep.

So I'll talk about last night.

(Maybe _some_ of my emotions will stop _giggling_ about it.)

I had a dream…

(Maybe I should stop writing. This pain is becoming… bearable…)

And Beast Boy was in it…

And…

OH GODS WHY DID I KISS HIM!

…

Ahem…

I'm going to sleep.


End file.
